When parental involvement goes too far
Of course, you want to be involved in your child’s life and take an interest. But when do you going from being an interested parent to “helicoptering”?
A helicopter parent is defined as “A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they “hover overhead”, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life constantly.”
Is this you?
You fuss during playdates.
You can keep a careful eye on the kids as they play (in fact, you should!), but if you find yourself constantly stepping in, directing children to activities, intervening during conversations and play – you are not giving your child space to communicate and play at her own level. Step in if a child’s safety is at risk but allow your children their own freedom.
You obsess over what your child eats.
Food issues can be a minefield and children can be notoriously fussy eaters. But unless your child flat-out refuses to eat, and you notice him losing weight or gaining excessively, it’s okay to allow them a little flexibility. Arguing over him finishing every bite, or insisting he eat three times a day plus snacks, can lead to frustrating power struggles. If he is a generally good eater, and is growing according to his age and milestones, try to relax your control a bit.
You insist on dressing him all the time.
Allowing your child the freedom to choose his own clothes (within reason and budget) is not a bad idea for his development. He gets to develop independence, can be a bit creative in his choices and will probably feel very proud to put together his own outfits. Step back a little and give him space to make his choices.
As much as you love your child and want only good things for him, it’s important to loosen the reins a little. Your child needs freedom to grow, develop and mature. Make a conscious decision to micromanage less, and to allow him small decision-making choices. This is vital for him to develop essential life skills.
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Understanding what you want
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The personal information we collect
h. The information we collect about you depends on the Vodacom and Vodafone products and services you use and subscribe to. It may include (but is not limited to) the following:
i. your name, age group home language;
ii. your preferences for particular products, services or lifestyle activities when you tell us what they are – or when we assume what they are, depending on how you use our products and services;
iii. your contact with us – such as a note or recording of a call you make to one of our contact centres, an email or letter you send to us or other records of any contact you have with us;
iv. your account information – such as phone number, handset type, handset model,, whether you are a post or prepaid customer, dates of payment owed and received, TopUp information, the subscription services you use or any other information related to your account.
i. We will also get information on how you use our products and services, such as:
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ii. the date, time and length of the calls and messages you send or receive through our network, and your approximate location at the time these communications take place;
iii. the level of service you receive – for example, network faults and other network events which may affect our network services;
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v. the date, time and length of your internet browsing, and your approximate location at the time of browsing;
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Using your personal information
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x. understand how you use this Service, our network, products and services. That way, we can develop more interesting and relevant products and services, as well as personalising the products and services we offer you;
xi. carry out research and statistical analysis including to monitor how customers use this Service, our network, products and services on an anonymous or personal basis;
xii. prevent and detect fraud or other crimes, recover debts or trace those who owe us money;
xiii. provide aggregated reports to third parties (such reports do not contain any information which may identify you as an individual).
k. The information we use will be your approximate location, based on the nearest mobile cell site. As a result, this will change as you move around with your mobile phone.
l. We will store your information for as long as we have to by law. If there is no legal requirement, we will only store it for as long as we need it.
Sharing your personal information
m. We may share information about you with:
i. companies in the Vodacom and Vodafone Group (Vodafone Group Plc and any company or other organisation in which Vodacom owns more than 15% of the share capital);
ii. Mondia Media, partners or agents involved in delivering the Services;
iii. companies who are engaged to perform the Service for, on behalf of Vodacom (Pty) Ltd including Mondia Media (Pty) Ltd;
iv. where applicable, credit reference, fraud prevention or business scoring agencies, or other credit scoring agencies;
v. where applicable, debt collection agencies or other debt recovery organisations;
vi. law enforcement agencies, regulatory organisations, courts or other public authorities if we have to, or are authorised to by law;
vii. emergency services (if you make an emergency call), including your approximate location.
n. We will release information if it's reasonable for the purpose of protecting us against fraud, defending our rights or property, or to protect the interests of our customers.
o. If we are reorganised or sold to another organisation, we may transfer any personal information we hold about you to that organisation.
p. We will transfer your information to Mondia Media our service provider. Mondia Media servers are based outside South Africa in Germany where adequate data protection laws exist to protect the privacy and security of your information. We have also signed a contract with Mondia Media with data protection provisions to ensure the security and protection of the privacy of your information.
q. At your option, we may also share your information with partner organisations we've chosen carefully, so they can contact you about their products and services.
Keeping your personal information secure
r. We have specialised security teams who constantly review and improve our measures to protect your personal information from unauthorised access, accidental loss, disclosure or destruction.
s. If we have a contract with another organisation to provide us with services or a service on our behalf to process your personal information, we will make sure they have appropriate security measures and only process your information in the way we've authorised them to. These organisations will not be entitled to use your personal information for their own purposes. If necessary, our security teams will check them to make sure they meet the security requirements we have set.
t. Communications over the internet (such as emails) are not secure unless they have been encrypted. Your communications may go through a number of countries before being delivered – as this is the nature of the internet. We cannot accept responsibility for any unauthorised access or loss of personal information that's beyond our control.
How to opt-out
u. If you want to opt out of Mum & Baby notifications, alerts or messages, you may do so via the relevant prompts through the short code *117*6862# or by visiting https://mumandbaby.vodacom.co.za. You can choose to opt out of partner communications by sending an SMS with STOP to 30881.