“It’s an extreme sport” Tumelo Mohlaphuli gives us a glimpse into life as a mother of three
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The journey of motherhood is undeniably the most exciting stage. However, it is important to acknowledge that alongside its beauty, it can also bring about anxiety and is quite demanding.

Tumelo Mohlaphuli (34), is filled with immense pride as she embraces her role as a mother to three incredible children named Letlotlo, Tlotliso, and Botlalo. The mother of three says raising 3 children is an extreme sport. However, she believes that being entrusted by God with the responsibility of nurturing three lives is a testament to one’s capabilities in successfully raising them.

Tumelo has bagged a hosting gig on the popular television show “Let’s Chat Children.” The show focuses on the relationship between parents and children, delving into various facets of parenting and the obstacles that arise, ultimately providing valuable solutions for both parents and caregivers.

She candidly shares her experiences about pregnancy, motherhood, and parenting with Mum and Baby, offering a heartfelt glimpse into her parenting journey alongside her devoted partner, Ashlan Mohlaphuli.

Not only does she excel as a TV host, but she also delves into her vast expertise as a qualified social worker, lawyer, and psychologist. The awe-inspiring manner in which she seamlessly handles her demanding career while simultaneously fulfilling her loving and nurturing responsibilities as a devoted mother and committed spouse to her remarkable husband is truly a source of inspiration.

Who is Tumelo Mohlaphuli

 

Tumelo is a 34-year-old woman originating from Polokwane, Limpopo. I am the second child out of four and come from a tightly knit family where both of my parents are still alive, thanks to the grace of God. I am a born-again Christian, married to an amazing husband and I am a mother to three beautiful children aged 8, 4, and 1. I have always been a curious and outgoing individual who always wanted to try new things and got even more curious when I was told I couldn’t do certain things; yeah, I am that child who says, “Why can’t I?” and “what if I will be the first person to be able to do it?.”

I studied Bachelor of Social Work at the University of Pretoria and became a qualified Social Worker in 2012. I further completed an LLB degree in 2019 and an Honors degree in Psychology in 2021 at UNISA. I am currently a Clinical Psychology Masters candidate at Wits University for 2024. My career path and interest has always been in Humanities, Mental Health and Arts. After my first qualification in 2012, I was employed by the Department of Social Development as an Institutional Social Worker at a Child and Youth Care Centre for children in need of care and protection. In 2019, I started a private practice in the clinical field providing child assessments, mentorship, individual therapy, couples therapy, family mediation and therapy, and Employee Assistance Programmes.

I am a born artist who has been on stage since I was 5 years old being a part of a trio with my mother and sister. That escalated to me being part of choir ensembles and theatre groups throughout primary school until the present. I have had the opportunity to perform nationally and internationally, especially in the Theatre industry.

When did you get married?

I got married in 2014 to Ashlan Mohlaphuli who I met at university in 2007. Our love story is quite a fairy tale! In a nutshell, we met in 2007 and dated for a short but dynamic and intense 4 months. Our hearts became so intertwined, but we broke up due to the very same closeness because it got both of us were almost excluded from university, because we were not focusing on our academics but on living in our fairytale love nest! Although we had broken up, our hearts stayed connected and 6 years later we reconnected and got married the same year and we have been living happily ever after 9 years now and we are still going strong!

Tell us more about your husband

My husband’s name is Ashlan Mohlaphuli, he is 36 years old. Ash is a very interesting human with a distinct personality. What makes him special is his loving and loyal heart and above all his love for God. He is a family-oriented man who is very supportive of my flamboyant personality and has become my cheerleader and that is everything for me. I also love the fact that he is such an intelligent, hardworking and smart man; he is a qualified physicist and about to complete a mechanical engineering qualification from the University of Pretoria. Ashlan is also an artist and we met in a Theatre group at university and have been gigging together since then.

 

 

How have the two of you been sharing the responsibilities of parenting?

It helps a lot that my husband is very hands-on. He is the kind of dad who will take the baby to the clinic for immunization and will come back with all the feedback and even start implementing even more than me. We are such a great team in sharing parenting responsibilities in terms of working together depending on the needs of the day and the dynamics thereof. If I have to work or go to shoot for example, he will automatically take over anything that the kids need for the day, and I do the same for him. Our communication and coordination help us to keep abreast with our children’s everyday needs because their best interests are what matter to both of us.

Tell us more about your kids

We have three children aged 8,4, and 1. Our first child’s name is Letlotlo, she was our honeymoon baby! We have been wanting to start a family for the longest time and as soon as we tied the knot, we did not waste any time. Letlotlo is currently in grade 2 and she has her father’s technical brain because she is a top student in mathematics, well we know mommy is not a numbers fan, so daddy’s brains there haha. She has a very colourful personality like Mommy and loves dancing and singing. Her biggest value and love language is family time (quality time) and she is always the coordinator of family time moments including movie nights and family outings.

Our second child’s name is Tlotliso and he is 4 years old. Tlotliso has daddy’s personality of being a bit of an introvert but the biggest comedian in the house. Tlotliso has started playing drums and he is an aspiring musical genius because he has a very sharp and technical ear for music. He is a very caring child and the biggest gentleman! He always likes to create comfortable environments, for example offering to massage mommy’s feet on days when I have had a long day, and he is very big on hugs and kisses.

Our last born, yes LAST born child’s name is Botlalo, which means Fullness, so we are very complete! Botlalo came into our lives last year and she has been such a joy. We look forward to discovering her personality and character and we just love how she became such a perfect addition to our family. Her older siblings adore her because she is such a warm and loving baby who will blossom into an amazing individual.

How is it being a mother of 3?

It is a total extreme sport because I am the type of mom that is hands-on and never wants to miss any milestone, it can get very challenging to keep up with the trio, especially with my very busy life workwise. With my hands full, I have had to master the art of individualizing our kids because they still need individualized attention because they have different personalities and needs. It is very easy to fall into the trap of neglecting especially the eldest while focusing on the younger ones. I have had to be very intentional with attending to my children’s emotional needs especially because the other needs are automatically already taken care of and that has helped us to stay connected and for them to not feel neglected in any way.

What are the most challenging and rewarding aspects of raising children?

One the most challenging things about raising children is making sure that their overall development is stimulated and not compromised in any way. In my field of work, I am very conscious about my children’s mental health. I feel that is the most sensitive and tricky aspect of raising children because their mental health has to be developed and taken care of from a young age to avoid possible personality and behavioural issues. It is very easy to feel like because your children are in the best schools, their tummies are fed, and they have good shelter and amazing toys and gadgets then they are happy and sorted, whereas they feel very empty emotionally and mentally and that is where problems start. So, the biggest challenge for me is making sure that I keep abreast with their everyday emotional and mental needs and try to attend to them as best as I can.

The most rewarding aspect of raising children is those little moments of home, where you get to spend time and watch these little humans’ faces glow up when you open the door. Furthermore, the feeling of knowing that you are someone’s whole world, and they trust you with their lives is the most fulfilling feeling in the world.

What did I want to be when you were growing up?

I wanted to be a medical doctor but Mathematics said Nope girl! But I am glad that not being the best in mathematics did not deter me from still fulfilling my dream in another way. I am currently in the medical field but as a therapist I still feel very aligned with my childhood dream because I still get to “heal” and that is everything to me.

If you were to change anything about your life what would it be and why?

Would it be weird to not have anything I would change about my life? Because I honestly would not change anything about my life. Every aspect of my life has had a purpose, good and bad, and I have learnt and grown so much from my experiences so far. So nope, I wouldn’t change anything about my life so far.

What was the process you went through to secure the Let’s Chat Children job on SABC 2?

A friend of mine sent me a casting call and felt I was best suited for the role, and I sent through my virtual audition according to the specs and I got the part!

What do you love about it?

I love the fact that the show focuses on real parenting issues that parents go through every day, and it is so informative and educational. I must say that as much as the aim was to educate our audience, we have also learnt so much, especially from each other’s parenting journeys. I also love the fact that the show allows us to be ourselves and gives our viewers the real us which makes it easy for us to relate to our audience and even be vulnerable and authentic.

Why do you believe platforms like these are good for mothers and children?

Like I said previously, this show deals with everyday parenting issues that parents go through and with the interactions and knowledge, parents will be empowered to raise their children in a positive way and get an opportunity to share best parenting practices. This will automatically benefit the children because they will receive better care from their parents.

What can a mother and a child take away from the show?

That you as a parent are doing your best and even when you don’t get it right sometimes, you are not alone. There is always a community of parents to help and share ideas with you on how to have the best parent-child relationship and how to navigate the whole process.

What is the significance of teaching children to share, and how do you encourage your own children to be open to sharing with others?

Sharing teaches children to co-exist with others. There are many dynamics to sharing though because sharing also has to have boundaries and that is the balance that we need to teach our children. The concept of boundaries in sharing stems from the fact that the world is not always a kind place and there are certain things you do not share, and also, it is relevant in cases where people take advantage of others’ kindness by “overtaking.” Teaching children to share can be an extreme sport, especially in younger ages when they don’t understand the concept as yet and they just feel everything should belong to them. Our best way of teaching our children to share started with us modelling the sharing and implementing the boundaries with regard to sharing. Children learn through what they see and are exposed to, with them seeing us visibly sharing between us as parents and with them, it became a norm for them too. I am so proud of the little tradition our two eldest children have started with regard to sharing. On tuckshop days or on days where they receive party packs at school for someone’s birthday, they always keep something to come share with the siblings and they decided to do that entirely on their own and it is beautiful to watch.

What is your best way as a mother to deal with a toddler’s tantrums?

I think what works for me is that my children and I communicate and talk a lot, not reactively but proactively. We address certain behaviours before they happen and set rules around them. They know that mommy does not like it when they walk off and bang on the door for example, or cry for things in the grocery store. This helps because when the moment comes, I give the “death stare” of “remember what we agreed on?” and although sometimes the tantrum still occurs, it would die down quicker than dealing with the behaviour for the first time. Also, sometimes though we have that strategy; we would still have a huge tantrum and will have to think of plan B in the moment including moving the child to a calmer and more private space if it is happening in public, or if at home, allowing him to calm down and not exacerbate the behaviour by also being frustrated and acting out.

What strategies can be used to address depression in children

Firstly, you need to educate yourself about child depression as a parent so that you can be able to identify symptoms. And then from there, the best way is to seek professional help for your child with a child psychologist or child counselor.

You have 3 kids. How do you ensure that they are treated the same?

With this one, I have learnt that I have to be conscious and intentional. It is very easy to not treat the children the same, especially due to age, and that can be very dangerous and even lead to sibling resentment. I intentionally try to keep up with the trio in terms of making sure that their needs are catered for as equally as possible. Obviously and realistically, that might not be accurate at all times due to their different needs and ages but where possible and relevant, I try to keep the balance and do things across the board as much as possible, intentionally!

Who has been your greatest coach in your life? How have they coached you? What makes them good at it?

My biggest coaches in my life have been my parents and my older sister. I have walked almost everystep of my life with them from a young age and they were my support system and reference point. What made the coaching possible and successful is that we have a very open relationship and are able to talk about literally anything! With that type of relationship, one becomes amenable to teachings and guidance, and it becomes a trusting relationship.

What movies or books do your children love watching or reading?

They love animated movies that have a storyline, not random cartoons. The oldest child, Letlotlo, has no interest in children’s books. She enjoys reading books that discuss strategies and objectives.

What is your approach to managing screen time?

With screen time we’ve had to be strict. They know that during the week, they don’t have access to their gadgets. On Friday, they can access their cellphones and iPads. We have age restrictions on their cell phones. I have set up parental controls on Google Play.

What is your wish for your children?

I just want them to be the best version of themselves. God created them for a special purpose, and I want them to accomplish that purpose. I want to assist them in fulfilling their dreams and to be the best version of themselves.

What do you love doing with them in your free time?

We play. Watch movies or go out on ice cream dates.

If you could reveal two things that give you joy currently, what would they be?

  1. My kids
  2. The direction of my marriage, the fact that my marriage is in a good space.

In terms of your career where do you want to go?

I wish that our show could be renewed for another season. I want to venture into acting also next year.

What strategies do you employ to balance the responsibilities of being a mother and pursuing your professional goals?

Time management, without it I would be a mess. My husband always laughs at me because I am technical with time. Time management keeps me afloat.

What would you say to a mother of three?

She’s a superhero because raising three kids is such an extreme sport. The fact that God trusted her with 3 lives, it means that she’s capable. She must trust her instincts and guts, and do all the best. Always remember that there’s a village. There are numerous individuals outside of your immediate family who are capable of providing assistance, all you need to do is be receptive and open-minded to their willingness to help.

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8. Limitation of Liability

a. You agree that your use of the Service shall be at your sole risk. To the fullest extent permitted by law, we and our officers, directors, employees, and agents disclaim all warranties, express or implied, in connection with the services and your use thereof. We make no warranties or representations about the accuracy or completeness of the Services' content or the content of and assume no liability or responsibility for any (i) errors, mistakes, or inaccuracies of content; (ii) personal injury or property damage of any nature whatsoever resulting from your access to and use of the services; (iii) any unauthorized access to or use of our servers; (iv) any interruption or cessation of transmission to or from the Service; (v) any bugs, viruses, trojan horses or the like which may be transmitted to or through the services by any third party; or (vi) any errors or omissions in any content or for any loss or damage of any kind incurred as a result of the use of any content posted, emailed, transmitted, or otherwise made available via the services. We do not warrant, endorse, guarantee, or assume responsibility for any information provided as part of the Service by a third party.

b. To the extent permitted by applicable law, in no event shall we or our subsidiaries and affiliates, and their respective officers, directors, owners, agents, employees, representatives and licensors be liable for any special, incidental, indirect, consequential, punitive or exemplary losses or damages whatsoever or for loss of profits (including, without limitation, damages for loss of revenue, loss of data, failure to realize expected savings, interruption of activities, or any other pecuniary or economic loss) and whether arising from breach of contract, damages (including negligence), strict liability or otherwise, arising out of the use of or inability to use the Services or its content.

c. Save to the extent permitted by law, you agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless Vodacom and its partners, subsidiaries and affiliates from and against any and all claims, demands, actions, liability, losses, costs and expenses (including legal fees and expenses) arising from or related to: (i) any use or alleged use of the Service by any other person, whether or not authorized by you; (ii) your breach of these Terms and Conditions, including any breach of your representations and warranties herein; and (iii) your violation of any law or (iv) your use of or inability to use the Service, the contents made available on the Service.

10. Rewards

a. From time to time we may randomly offer rewards on the platform and these rewards will only be available to all Mum & Baby Subscribers unless otherwise specified.

b. Please read the disclaimers on all rewards offered in the Rewards page the Mum & Baby service carefully as Vodacom will not be held liable for any loss or damage relating to the use and/or redemption of the vouchers awarded to users.

c. Rewards are available for the duration that is stipulated on the Rewards page and the relevant terms and conditions therein shall apply.

10. Privacy and Data Protection

a. This clause explains how we collect, use, share and protect your personal information. This clause should be read with the Vodacom's Privacy Policy. If we update this clause and our privacy policy, we will post any changes on our website.

Collecting your personal information

b. We can get your personal information when you use this Service. In the case of the use of the Service your personal information is collected for the purpose of being used and processed in:

• personalising the Service to your respective preferences;

• for the serving of appropriate, tailored advertising to you via the Service;

• for the purpose of tracking the Service's performance;

• troubleshooting, data analysis, testing, research and service improvement and/or to identify any technical issues that may occur from time to time;

• for use in devising additional enhancements or improvements to the Service; and

• statistical tracking, redundancy and audit purposes.

c. The above data will not be shared with other users of the Service. However, Vodacom further may collect your information in terms of clause 9 (h) and (i) below.

d. We may also collect information about you from other organisations, if this is appropriate. These include fraud-prevention agencies, business directories and credit reference agencies. We may also collect information about you from other companies, our business, or joint venture partners.

Understanding what you want

e. We might also use cookies (small text files stored in your browser) and other techniques such as web beacons (small, clear picture files used to follow your movements on our website). These collect information that tells us how you use our websites, web-related products and services.

f. This, in turn, helps us make our website relevant to your interests and needs. We may use a persistent cookie (a cookie that stays linked to your browser) to record your details so we can recognise you if you visit our website again. See the next section for more details.

g. You can choose to refuse cookies, or set your browser to let you know each time a website tries to set a cookie.

The personal information we collect

h. The information we collect about you depends on the Vodacom and Vodafone products and services you use and subscribe to. It may include (but is not limited to) the following:

i. your name, age group home language;

ii. your preferences for particular products, services or lifestyle activities when you tell us what they are – or when we assume what they are, depending on how you use our products and services;

iii. your contact with us – such as a note or recording of a call you make to one of our contact centres, an email or letter you send to us or other records of any contact you have with us;

iv. your account information – such as phone number, handset type, handset model,, whether you are a post or prepaid customer, dates of payment owed and received, TopUp information, the subscription services you use or any other information related to your account.

i. We will also get information on how you use our products and services, such as:

i. Where applicable, the phone numbers that you call or send messages to (or the phone numbers that you receive these calls and messages from);

ii. the date, time and length of the calls and messages you send or receive through our network, and your approximate location at the time these communications take place;

iii. the level of service you receive – for example, network faults and other network events which may affect our network services;

iv. your website browsing information (which includes information about the websites you visit, and about how you use our website or other Vodafone Group websites on your mobile or a PC;

v. the date, time and length of your internet browsing, and your approximate location at the time of browsing;

vi. your brand preference, preferred video categories, related preferences (e.g. team choice); and type of services you typically access.

Using your personal information

j. We may use and analyse your information to:

i. process the goods and services you have bought from us, and keep you updated with your order progress;

ii. keep you informed generally about new products and services (unless you choose not to receive our marketing messages);

iii. provide the relevant service or product to you. This includes other services not included in this terms and conditions, and services that use information about where you are when using your mobile equipment (location information) and to contact you with messages about changes to the service or product;

iv. you with offers or promotions based on how you use our products and services. These include your calling and messaging activities, location information and browsing information (unless you choose not to receive these messages – see below on 'How to opt-out';

v. send you targeted and relevant messages, based on your behaviour, permission and preferences. From time to time, we will send you a range of different messages, from Vodacom as well as brands, to keep you informed or simply for you to tell us what you are into. These are not just offers and promotions but messages from your favourite brands including new products, discounts, limited offers, gifts and more. It works by using information about you to send you targeted messages relevant to you;

vi. bill you for using any additional products or services, or to take the appropriate amount of credit from you;

vii. respond to any questions or concerns you may have about using the Service, our network, products or services;

viii. let you know about other companies' products and services we think may interest you (including offers and discounts we've specially negotiated for our customers);

ix. protect our network and manage the volume of calls, texts and other use of our network. For example, we identify peak periods of use so we can try and ensure the network can handle the volume at those times

x. understand how you use this Service, our network, products and services. That way, we can develop more interesting and relevant products and services, as well as personalising the products and services we offer you;

xi. carry out research and statistical analysis including to monitor how customers use this Service, our network, products and services on an anonymous or personal basis;

xii. prevent and detect fraud or other crimes, recover debts or trace those who owe us money;

xiii. provide aggregated reports to third parties (such reports do not contain any information which may identify you as an individual).

k. The information we use will be your approximate location, based on the nearest mobile cell site. As a result, this will change as you move around with your mobile phone.

l. We will store your information for as long as we have to by law. If there is no legal requirement, we will only store it for as long as we need it.

Sharing your personal information

m. We may share information about you with:

i. companies in the Vodacom and Vodafone Group (Vodafone Group Plc and any company or other organisation in which Vodacom owns more than 15% of the share capital);

ii. Mondia Media, partners or agents involved in delivering the Services;

iii. companies who are engaged to perform the Service for, on behalf of Vodacom (Pty) Ltd including Mondia Media (Pty) Ltd;

iv. where applicable, credit reference, fraud prevention or business scoring agencies, or other credit scoring agencies;

v. where applicable, debt collection agencies or other debt recovery organisations;

vi. law enforcement agencies, regulatory organisations, courts or other public authorities if we have to, or are authorised to by law;

vii. emergency services (if you make an emergency call), including your approximate location.

n. We will release information if it's reasonable for the purpose of protecting us against fraud, defending our rights or property, or to protect the interests of our customers.

o. If we are reorganised or sold to another organisation, we may transfer any personal information we hold about you to that organisation.

p. We will transfer your information to Mondia Media our service provider. Mondia Media servers are based outside South Africa in Germany where adequate data protection laws exist to protect the privacy and security of your information. We have also signed a contract with Mondia Media with data protection provisions to ensure the security and protection of the privacy of your information.

q. At your option, we may also share your information with partner organisations we've chosen carefully, so they can contact you about their products and services.

Keeping your personal information secure

r. We have specialised security teams who constantly review and improve our measures to protect your personal information from unauthorised access, accidental loss, disclosure or destruction.

s. If we have a contract with another organisation to provide us with services or a service on our behalf to process your personal information, we will make sure they have appropriate security measures and only process your information in the way we've authorised them to. These organisations will not be entitled to use your personal information for their own purposes. If necessary, our security teams will check them to make sure they meet the security requirements we have set.

t. Communications over the internet (such as emails) are not secure unless they have been encrypted. Your communications may go through a number of countries before being delivered – as this is the nature of the internet. We cannot accept responsibility for any unauthorised access or loss of personal information that's beyond our control.

How to opt-out

u. If you want to opt out of Mum & Baby notifications, alerts or messages, you may do so via the relevant prompts through the short code *117*6862# or by visiting https://mumandbaby.vodacom.co.za. You can choose to opt out of partner communications by sending an SMS with STOP to 30881.

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