10 ways to help your child be successful in the future
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Conscious Discipline is an adult-first, child-second self-regulation programme founded by Dr Becky Bailey in 1996. The underlying idea is to be a role model for our children. Stop lecturing!

Values are taught through human interactions, not through the lectures we give. So, shift from ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ to ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’. Remember, adult first, child second. You can’t teach skills you don’t have.

10 tips to help your child be successful:

  • Name the feeling – Having an emotional vocabulary is a skill. If “I’m feeling frustrated” is like a foreign language coming out of your mouth, chances are you were not exposed to this growing up. Emotions are not the bad guys; they are just energy in motion and research tells us that they only actually last 90 seconds!
  • Self-regulate – This term is bandied around a lot but what does it actually mean? Self-regulation is the scientific term for resilience. It’s the cluster of skills that allows us to put a pause between the impulse and the response.

Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, famously said, “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a responseIn our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

Self-regulation is a better predictor of long term success than early reading, mathematics or IQ. The way parents treat each other is more important for a child’s development of self-regulation than the way the parent treats the child.  How to you get a self-regulated child? By being a self-regulated adult!

  • Connect – Our brains are social organs, and we learn best through making connections. Conscious Discipline says that connections are made up of 4 components: eye contact, physical touch, being present, playful situations. More time connecting will equal less time in power struggles.
  • T.I.P. Quit Taking It Personally. Teach your children that the world does not rotate around them. Life is tough and messy. Psychologist Susan David says, “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life”. Besides, people who continually assume a victim narrative are draining to be around.
  • O.P.S – Our Opportunity to Practice Skills. When we give ourselves permission to make mistakes, we give our children permission to make mistakes too. Our children are watching the way we treat ourselves and taking their lead from us. An example of this is when my child breaks a glass, I say: “It doesn’t matter, there are lots more glasses and only one of you”, yet, when I break a glass, I berate myself for being so careless/clumsy.
  • Assume positive intent – When we assume positive intent and that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, we suspend judgement and give people the benefit of the doubt. This takes us to the higher centres of our brain and avoids us being overly defensive. You also make it easier to engage in honest and productive conversations.
  • Be assertive – Assertiveness is a sweet spot between being passive and aggressive. Teach your children to be assertive by role modelling a respectful, firm but kind voice. Not only when you feel like it, but also when you’ve been triggered, and you’re dysregulated.
  • Learn, unlearn, relearn – Futurist, Alvin Toffler said that the illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn. Show your children how to unlearn by being willing to shift your fixed mindsets.
  • Stop criticising your children – When you criticise your children, they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves. Shift from judging to noticing. From “good job!” (they’re not circus animals!) to “you did it”. Your ‘you’ talk becomes their ‘I’ talk. This in turn helps to change their mindset from extrinsic to an intrinsic motivation.
  • Self-compassion – You can’t drink from an empty cup (put your oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others etc.). Whatever your selfcare/self-love/self-compassion routine looks like, be kind to yourself. Whether this is yoga, running, crocheting, gardening or practicing mindfulness, completing your stress response cycle daily is the antidote to burnout. When we are burnt out, it’s difficult to engage in any conscious parenting.

Conscious Discipline provides adults and children with the skills to be disciplined enough to set and achieve goals, conscious enough to know when you’re off track and connected enough to others so you’re willing to persevere.

It takes a shift in mindset from how we were raised to think about discipline as punishment, to thinking of discipline as an opportunity to teach missing skills. Parents use the tools to gain control of their emotions and upset, and in turn, download that calm to their child. Go on and try it!

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Collecting your personal information

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• personalising the Service to your respective preferences;

• for the serving of appropriate, tailored advertising to you via the Service;

• for the purpose of tracking the Service's performance;

• troubleshooting, data analysis, testing, research and service improvement and/or to identify any technical issues that may occur from time to time;

• for use in devising additional enhancements or improvements to the Service; and

• statistical tracking, redundancy and audit purposes.

c. The above data will not be shared with other users of the Service. However, Vodacom further may collect your information in terms of clause 9 (h) and (i) below.

d. We may also collect information about you from other organisations, if this is appropriate. These include fraud-prevention agencies, business directories and credit reference agencies. We may also collect information about you from other companies, our business, or joint venture partners.

Understanding what you want

e. We might also use cookies (small text files stored in your browser) and other techniques such as web beacons (small, clear picture files used to follow your movements on our website). These collect information that tells us how you use our websites, web-related products and services.

f. This, in turn, helps us make our website relevant to your interests and needs. We may use a persistent cookie (a cookie that stays linked to your browser) to record your details so we can recognise you if you visit our website again. See the next section for more details.

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The personal information we collect

h. The information we collect about you depends on the Vodacom and Vodafone products and services you use and subscribe to. It may include (but is not limited to) the following:

i. your name, age group home language;

ii. your preferences for particular products, services or lifestyle activities when you tell us what they are – or when we assume what they are, depending on how you use our products and services;

iii. your contact with us – such as a note or recording of a call you make to one of our contact centres, an email or letter you send to us or other records of any contact you have with us;

iv. your account information – such as phone number, handset type, handset model,, whether you are a post or prepaid customer, dates of payment owed and received, TopUp information, the subscription services you use or any other information related to your account.

i. We will also get information on how you use our products and services, such as:

i. Where applicable, the phone numbers that you call or send messages to (or the phone numbers that you receive these calls and messages from);

ii. the date, time and length of the calls and messages you send or receive through our network, and your approximate location at the time these communications take place;

iii. the level of service you receive – for example, network faults and other network events which may affect our network services;

iv. your website browsing information (which includes information about the websites you visit, and about how you use our website or other Vodafone Group websites on your mobile or a PC;

v. the date, time and length of your internet browsing, and your approximate location at the time of browsing;

vi. your brand preference, preferred video categories, related preferences (e.g. team choice); and type of services you typically access.

Using your personal information

j. We may use and analyse your information to:

i. process the goods and services you have bought from us, and keep you updated with your order progress;

ii. keep you informed generally about new products and services (unless you choose not to receive our marketing messages);

iii. provide the relevant service or product to you. This includes other services not included in this terms and conditions, and services that use information about where you are when using your mobile equipment (location information) and to contact you with messages about changes to the service or product;

iv. you with offers or promotions based on how you use our products and services. These include your calling and messaging activities, location information and browsing information (unless you choose not to receive these messages – see below on 'How to opt-out';

v. send you targeted and relevant messages, based on your behaviour, permission and preferences. From time to time, we will send you a range of different messages, from Vodacom as well as brands, to keep you informed or simply for you to tell us what you are into. These are not just offers and promotions but messages from your favourite brands including new products, discounts, limited offers, gifts and more. It works by using information about you to send you targeted messages relevant to you;

vi. bill you for using any additional products or services, or to take the appropriate amount of credit from you;

vii. respond to any questions or concerns you may have about using the Service, our network, products or services;

viii. let you know about other companies' products and services we think may interest you (including offers and discounts we've specially negotiated for our customers);

ix. protect our network and manage the volume of calls, texts and other use of our network. For example, we identify peak periods of use so we can try and ensure the network can handle the volume at those times

x. understand how you use this Service, our network, products and services. That way, we can develop more interesting and relevant products and services, as well as personalising the products and services we offer you;

xi. carry out research and statistical analysis including to monitor how customers use this Service, our network, products and services on an anonymous or personal basis;

xii. prevent and detect fraud or other crimes, recover debts or trace those who owe us money;

xiii. provide aggregated reports to third parties (such reports do not contain any information which may identify you as an individual).

k. The information we use will be your approximate location, based on the nearest mobile cell site. As a result, this will change as you move around with your mobile phone.

l. We will store your information for as long as we have to by law. If there is no legal requirement, we will only store it for as long as we need it.

Sharing your personal information

m. We may share information about you with:

i. companies in the Vodacom and Vodafone Group (Vodafone Group Plc and any company or other organisation in which Vodacom owns more than 15% of the share capital);

ii. Mondia Media, partners or agents involved in delivering the Services;

iii. companies who are engaged to perform the Service for, on behalf of Vodacom (Pty) Ltd including Mondia Media (Pty) Ltd;

iv. where applicable, credit reference, fraud prevention or business scoring agencies, or other credit scoring agencies;

v. where applicable, debt collection agencies or other debt recovery organisations;

vi. law enforcement agencies, regulatory organisations, courts or other public authorities if we have to, or are authorised to by law;

vii. emergency services (if you make an emergency call), including your approximate location.

n. We will release information if it's reasonable for the purpose of protecting us against fraud, defending our rights or property, or to protect the interests of our customers.

o. If we are reorganised or sold to another organisation, we may transfer any personal information we hold about you to that organisation.

p. We will transfer your information to Mondia Media our service provider. Mondia Media servers are based outside South Africa in Germany where adequate data protection laws exist to protect the privacy and security of your information. We have also signed a contract with Mondia Media with data protection provisions to ensure the security and protection of the privacy of your information.

q. At your option, we may also share your information with partner organisations we've chosen carefully, so they can contact you about their products and services.

Keeping your personal information secure

r. We have specialised security teams who constantly review and improve our measures to protect your personal information from unauthorised access, accidental loss, disclosure or destruction.

s. If we have a contract with another organisation to provide us with services or a service on our behalf to process your personal information, we will make sure they have appropriate security measures and only process your information in the way we've authorised them to. These organisations will not be entitled to use your personal information for their own purposes. If necessary, our security teams will check them to make sure they meet the security requirements we have set.

t. Communications over the internet (such as emails) are not secure unless they have been encrypted. Your communications may go through a number of countries before being delivered – as this is the nature of the internet. We cannot accept responsibility for any unauthorised access or loss of personal information that's beyond our control.

How to opt-out

u. If you want to opt out of Mum & Baby notifications, alerts or messages, you may do so via the relevant prompts through the short code *117*6862# or by visiting https://mumandbaby.vodacom.co.za. You can choose to opt out of partner communications by sending an SMS with STOP to 30881.

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