Mum&Baby

Jennifer Bala on life with 3 daughters

Celebrity Articles

How has your journey of motherhood evolved?

I am still evolving in my motherhood journey as my daughters transition through different stages. I had each of my daughters at distinct ages and seasons in my life, which meant a lot of growth and change in between.

I had Kenzie at age 36 and put all my theoretical and some hands-on knowledge of motherhood into practice. I had to be patient as I faced the challenges of being a new mom, all while caring for my own mother, who battled cancer throughout my entire pregnancy and passed away just two weeks after Kenzie turned one. It was an emotionally and physically challenging couple of years that left a lasting impact.

By the time Tori was born five and a half years later, I had lost both my parents and was physically exhausted, juggling the needs of two children while often single-parenting due to my husband’s work travels.

At 41, I was worn out and facing health challenges, classified as Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH), but ultimately diagnosed as mitochondrial burnout. I breastfed all three kids for over a year, which required significant dedication and effort.

Jody was born at the height of the pandemic, just four days after I turned 44. Her birth coincided with the one-year anniversary of the baby we lost, which felt like a divine moment for us. By that time, I had deepened my understanding of the importance of nurturing individuality, and I continue to adapt my approach in hopes of raising three happy, confident girls who reach their fullest potential.

What has been unique about raising each one?

Although they are different in age and personality, there are shared characteristics at similar stages of life. Kenzie shines with her quick wit, creativity and natural leadership, so I focus on fostering her independence and confidence.

Tori has a curious and adventurous spirit, and guiding her boundless energy has been both exciting and challenging.

Jody is full of joy, curiosity, and playfulness, constantly keeping us on our toes while reminding us to embrace the magic in everyday moments.

Managing a thriving career while raising three daughters is quite challenging…

Honestly, I believe balance only becomes apparent in hindsight after we’ve navigated the necessary juggling of priorities. My main strategies are being as organised as possible and managing my time efficiently. I always say that if it’s not in my calendar, it’s not going to happen.

I plan around my daughters’ schedules, as well as Loyiso’s. We set boundaries between work and family time, ensuring we make the most of his limited time at home due to his travels.

How do you decide which jobs to do?

Having our girls has significantly impacted my career aspirations. I always thought I’d have my MBA by 40, but instead, Loyiso pursued his, a decision we made together because it made the most sense at the time.

I started working from home before the girls were born, which ultimately led me to the influencer and social media marketing space before it was even known as such.

Working from home allowed me to be hands-on, support my family, and set a positive example for them. I generally try to focus on work that aligns with some of my values, such as health, wellness, and helping others. Watching them grow into their own unique individuals inspires me to keep learning and evolving in my career, aiming to contribute to their stability and security as they become adults.

In 2019, you suffered a miscarriage. Tell us more..

It was a deeply emotional journey, but I found strength in our little family. The experience deepened my appreciation for our daughters and reinforced our desire to have a third child. I focused on self-care as much as possible, but I also had two little girls who depended on me, making it crucial to find extra time to do fun activities with them and ensure their emotional well-being.

What tips would you offer to other mothers managing their careers while taking care of their children?

Being organised helps tremendously, but the key is to do what works best for your mental stability. There’s no such thing as perfect balance…it’s all about prioritising what’s important at that moment. Using a calendar and to-do list saves me from feeling overwhelmed by last-minute tasks, but I also give myself grace when things don’t go as planned.

Flexibility is crucial, and when possible, asking for help is invaluable. Prioritizing quality time with your children over trying to do it all is essential. Be kind to yourself; it will be fine.

What values do you prioritize teaching your kids?

Now that our girls are at very different ages, it’s especially important for me to encourage open communication between them and make time for family activities that everyone enjoys.

Teaching them values like empathy, kindness, and the importance of supporting one another is very important to me. If they hurt each other by accident or fight and complain to me, I always hear them out, acknowledge both the wrong and the right, and make sure they apologise to one another and hug it out.

How have you overcome them?

As a mom of three, the challenges are diverse, from balancing their different personalities to managing sibling rivalry, sacrificing personal time, and navigating societal expectations.

The longest-lasting and biggest challenge has been the lack of sleep, especially as each of them went through their own developmental stages, whether it was newborn nights or managing pre-teen anxieties.

Patience has been key; learning to pause and breathe when things feel overwhelming. I’ve found that open communication, both with my girls and my husband, has helped us manage situations and understand each other’s needs.

Most importantly, I’ve learned to embrace the challenges and keep pushing forward, always putting their well-being first, knowing the effort is worth every moment. I always remind myself that the challenges are temporary in the long run. Motherhood is a journey of learning, and they are just too cute and such blessings in our lives.

How has your support system played a role in your journey?

I’ve never had a big support system, so I’ve always relied on God first and foremost, and Loyiso, who plays a pivotal role in both parenting and supporting my work. I’ve had many friends from all walks of life but only a few very supportive ones over the years. For the most part, I am my own village and I’m usually the one supporting others when needed and that in itself motivates me.

Is there any advice you would give to your younger self?

I wasn’t too surprised by most of it, but I think one thing I would say to my younger self is to make time for myself more often, no matter what. There’s a reason self-care has become such a large topic because most of us don’t put ourselves first, often sacrificing too much, only to one day find that we don’t recognise ourselves anymore.

I’ve had many of those moments too, and it takes a lot out of you to get back to your essence again. I would also remind my younger self to honour the full spectrum of emotions – the joys and the struggles. Life will throw unexpected challenges, from loss to burnout, and it’s okay to grieve, to pause, and to feel everything deeply. It’s through those emotions that we truly grow.

Lastly, I’d tell her that life won’t always unfold the way you envision, and that’s okay. You may not achieve all your goals on your timeline, but that doesn’t mean you’re not successful. Embrace the idea that the detours can often lead to even greater fulfilment, in ways you never expected. That surrendering doesn’t mean giving up; it means trusting that life has a rhythm, and you will find your own way in time.

How do you handle sibling rivalry?

I try to instil open communication, empathy, kindness, and resilience while striving to foster a strong sense of sisterhood among them. Obviously, they take it in according to their age, so the biggest responsibility falls on Kenzie. I don’t want her to feel like she has to co-parent, though, so I talk to her about that, as she naturally wants to be their second mom when reprimanding or protecting them.

I’d like to think we teach them conflict resolution skills, and at times, I let them try resolving things themselves. We emphasize the importance of family unity, and I particularly focus on them loving one another and showing acts of kindness towards each other.

How do you address self-esteem, safety, and peer pressure?

We talk to our daughters about self-esteem, body image, and making safe choices. We use age-appropriate examples when the need arises, and we create an open environment where they feel comfortable discussing their concerns. It’s mostly Kenzie and Tori that are at an age where peer pressure occasionally becomes a topic of discussion, but we encourage them to develop critical thinking skills to navigate this and also to speak up if they feel uncomfortable in a situation.

It’s vital that we work together to set boundaries and provide a strong support system for them. Having South African, Polish, and Ghanaian roots, we also encourage them to embrace their unique and diverse heritage, allowing them to appreciate different cultures and perspectives. This sense of self gives them the confidence they need to be authentic.

What advice would you give to other parents raising daughters?

I think the most important thing is to listen to your daughter. Understand who she is as an individual and give her the opportunity to make her own decisions and learn from her experiences when possible. We are so enamoured with seeing ourselves in our children, but they are also their own people, and it’s important to allow them to be themselves, not clones of us.

All children learn by watching. We teach by example, and they get to witness us constantly uplifting and helping others. Positive reinforcement and providing unconditional support go a long way but letting them learn from challenges and mistakes is equally important as it’s part of life.

Most importantly, don’t forget to spend time kissing and cuddling them so they feel secure in your love for them. My own experiences, including moving frequently and the loss of my parents, have definitely helped shape my approach to parenting, making me consciously aware of the importance of stability, love, and creating lasting memories together.

Mum & Baby Premium

Confirm your subscription

Profile Registration
To help us send you the best weekly educational tips, help us understand who you are:

register step 2/2 lost
when did you lose your baby?

register step 2/2 mum
how old is your baby?

register step 2/2 pregnant
when was your last period?

welcome to Mum & Baby
You´ve now registered to receive weekly SMS´s. For more information, click explore below

Terms & Conditions

Terms And Conditions

Success

Failed

Coupon Exist

Server Failed